Sol's Inner Vault

The kindly Chaplain worked on the next sermon, considering his topic and points.  "Is human sorrow the mortar that bonds one to another? Is our common suffering also our oldest ancestor, holding the mortal family together thru memories of milleniums of tears?"  "As the wise in all cultures have asked, is pain the first parent of our worldly experience? These questions are addressed thru passages found both in earnest, and in anguish, as God's Word never wavers for those souls wounded by loss in their lives. Comfort sought is as near as scripture, never farther than the turned page." The Chaplain thought deeply on the Psalm: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4. And, he thought of all the different forms of suffering on earth.

If faith can tolerate my mortal fear, count me in. If laws from wiser sources lead down a better road, stear me there. If my praying happens anyway with doubts and all, I'm on board. If faith in God's laws is a requisite for wisdom, humble my flawed heart that I may believe. "I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws."   Psalm 119:30

"Be still. And know that I am God." This portion of the Psalm 46:10, does it also describe a truth about the nature of human understanding, how we may experience that some Higher Mind exists, how we may feel it for ourselves? Silence. Stillness. Could it be that God begins where thoughts, words end? Volume down the inner noise, filter out every other passing thought, become quiet, a heartbeat slowing on its own.  All may be known when "me" is gone. Exhale, inhale, behold the underground stream, anywhere God is found, there too we must be, inseperable for eternity. Finally, there's little else we may do:  Psalm 56:3, "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you."

How many reasons do I need to praise God? Woke up this morning, didn't I? You must have, too, to be reading this. The tendency to give thanks when great things happen, or disaster is avoided, misses the point of blessings.  They're already gifted before we count! Received before our own tally, and still we're not aware of all that is given us.  The whole world awakened with us this morning, didn't it? How many reasons do we need?

Mysteries have been with us from the beginnng. Moses asks God, "Who shall I name as the Giver of these tablets, when the wary people ask?" God replies, "Tell them 'I AM' is the Giver." So, the Big Mystery continues to this day. Although it may be part of our seeking and mortal nature to try, it isn't important to track down God, or to define that which is divine, and which we're given only glimpses of in random moments. More important to comprehend- by visceral embrace- the glorious, bountiful grace we receive living. The practice of gratitude is a personal affair, like praying and other daily supports. Blessings counted, uncounted, sometimes unknown in real time, wonders beyond our knowledge, invisible miracles all around us, like gravity, we see their timely effect. So, d efining is overrated, while knowing God's intrinsic, eternal presence in every moment is underrated, or simply forgotten by our hurried, modern existance.

If rain would clear a man's soul. If sunlight would purify my thoughts. If there were satisfaction beyond the flown moment. If worry were a distant neighbor. If the Big Bang became the Ten Commandments. If currency bought only good. If faith were enough to save us. If I could see around corners. If my wife and son weren't all. If the secret God be known. If this world reverses spin. If this universe begins again.

Have no science to cite, no studies, no credible references, no ancient scripture to analyze, and no good reason to believe it's even true, but I do. Prayer- also known as "hope", "gratitude", and "healing"- is an infinite and universal human substance, a force for good. Prayer is an energy within its own dimension, neither created nor destroyed, but rather an invisible, living reservoir to add to and draw from as needed. This prayer energy is experienced inwardly, so no two people can feel exactly the same. It manifests uniquely, each human, each time, the energy is always new. For some, prayer simply gives a deep thanks, asking for nothing more than the enormous bounty of life on earth, the years and decades passing, this profound, daily priviledge of consciousness, the light and face of our individual selves.  For others, prayer is solitude. Purity of aloneness, sanctity of solitary communion with the divine, the quieting of nervous noise within and

Do we not all come into God's House imperfect, heads bowed, sinners one and all? Each comes in thru a special Door according to time, temperament, circumstance, and a soul's need. Above all, believe God has a certain Door for you, uniquely designed but with universal compassion, all Doors framed by the same joyful Welcome.

Think I was the odd kid. Sixty years ago. Didn't feel too typical. Wondered about where among the stars did God exactly live. Imagined the big palace, a million tiny Christmas lights, clouds, fog. Believed my toys had their own lives, or a rock certainly knew it was in my closed fist.  Everything alive, some things glow or throb. Moments come like a swoon of sunlight bringing a slow summer afternoon to a certain standstill- then, a quail dove breaks the trance, time restarts. Very young, often had the weird sensation or imagining that my passing thoughts somehow escaped directly into the air, spiraling skyward in like a little wind funnel, then gone. Often felt brief head flushes beginning with my ears, not a bad feeling really, as if something was recharging. Sometimes the reaction made me smile inside out for no reason. Just the odd kid. This oddness all in tandom with more common behaviors, chewing on plants and grass, eating dirt, pulling off a twig of anis, licorice-flavored t

Some thoughts and impressions, nothing more. I've never studied in depth anyone's commentary on God's Ten Commandments. These words are mostly experiential, what each Commandment says to me from a personal perspective. Some may ask why a commentary on humankind's great gift of confirmed wisdom, and who am I to say anything about it? I am no one to comment on anything, especially such a gigantic subject, and there is no particular reason to share my thoughts. Nonetheless...