Sol's Inner Vault

If some sublime words of wisdom are on cue here, they're not forthcoming. I'm bewildered by this number, and how I got here, because year by year doesn't seem possible. But, as my teenager at home said, "there's no other way, dad. You got to seventy the same way everyone does, it's cool!" My son cannot know this almost vaporous feeling of decades passing, years dissolving like honey in my coffee, and the deceptive pace of daily life in all its sundry detail, time goes both fast and slow, endless days, weeks that flip by like stray afterthoughts, and months tearing pages off the calendar almost as a casual, forgotten gesture. My gratitude, I must find it again each day, to recall and resume a journey that never reveals the path too soon, never a clue about direction, only some unnamed but determined force that holds the faith of tomorrow's fate. Time is an invisible fabric of thought, much like a quilt, patched from event to event, milestones sewn into

We have always worn masks. It didn't begin with a virus. We have fashioned our masks since civilizations emerged. Worn daily, we present ourselves with masks for each encounter or challenge. Masks to explain who we are, what we fear or celebrate, the masks protect us from bad surprises or even dangers. The masks we make for ourselves must change constantly, and there is nothing to hide except everything, so the masks must be fast, effective, and individually designed to interact with others masks. This doesn't mean everyone is false, or insincere, masks are essential for all. Without masks we are simply too open, too vulnerable, too unpredictable even for ourselves. The masks allow control, at least enough to give us time, figure out what's good, what paths to take. We only understand our own masks. They're not to be loathed or dismissed. Within our masks are the key mysteries to our longing, the desires that drive us daily, that reveal our fragile humanity. Greet your

So many human traits are universal. There is nothing more human than desiring eternal life. No one wants their existence and identity to terminate. Beating death is the main human wish, the basis for entire belief systems to evolve over millenniums of thought, the fingers-crossed promise that is professed by some religions, and with no evidence, only the choice to believe. There is nothing more human than wishing for a Parent over all of us, the Guardian of our personal fate and future, the moral judge of this life. Because we know so little about why we're even here, how this universe works, and what God is all about. Most of us either want to know these very big things, or, assume that we do know. There is nothing more human than believing in a Messiah concept- a soon to come, anointed Savior tasked with the objective of transporting humanity from the mortal fate of death to eternal life and the end of all sin and suffering. But, nothing escapes the possibility that all assumptio

When does simple debating turn into jousting to the death? When does civility leave a verbal disagreement? When does discussion become strategic movement on a battlefield?  When the talk turns from the topic at hand to the people who cannot agree. When we shift the talk to you and me. When differences in perspective are weaponized to then hurt and harm in an ad hominem attack made personal. When a person's integrity is questioned because of a different perspective, it's another conversation, apart from the start, and meant to weaken the other. You don't accept all the assumptions of global warming? You're anti-science! You don't agree with critical race theory? You're a racist! You don't agree that male and female bodies competing is fair to anyone? Then, you're anti-LGBT! Debating enters the Octagon when we forget our own decency in order to condemn others for their opinions. Discussion goes off the rails when one is willing for dialogue to crash and bu

Proverbs 9:10 "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding." When certain redundant absolutes invade our thoughts, it's already an impossible expectation. An example can be our human fear. In its essence, fear is always a state of not accepting something, dreading some reality. Who can say they are without some fear or disabling worry? It can even be nameless, but nonetheless present, fear can self-identity in an instant. Isn't some fear good, normal, even desired? I'm not going to dance on the roof, fear of falling is instinctual, even protective. Common fears include all aspects of illness, injury, or death. Fear of others, the dark, clowns, insects, all common. Many around the world and here fear their government's power to control. Faith is said to be an antidote to fear, yet believers are afraid of unsaved souls, afterlife punishment and such. Fear of judgement is a huge and universal fear that likely

With all due respect to my wonderful friends of faith, to the devoutly sincere believers who are also Bible literalists, I remain unconvinced, which gives me no cheer or gladness to acknowledge. Faith is so much more comforting than doubtful questioning of all that I cannot know with any certainty. Skepticism can be almost painfully uncomfortable, unsettling, incomplete. I'm stuck in an increasingly expanding universe, which is a proven fact, and there's no mention of this fundamental truth anywhere in Scripture. Why is God expanding the universe faster and faster? No answer. Just as, where is there even a scintilla of actual evidence of a soul, spirit, or afterlife? Again, no answer, none that's compellingly convincing.  But, I am also stuck with partial knowledge, unproven theory, and claims or beliefs not supported by facts. The Bible- the generally King James version that's evolved today in numerous editions- is a work of various assembly, inclusion and exclusion, p

In 2 Corinthians, 6:14, we read: "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?" Paul's words puzzled me. He had good reason to be concerned about the mission he himself founded in Corinth. His letter, and this Scripture seem to implore his brethren to remain pure in their faith, steadfast in focus. Yet, this passage, read too quickly, could seem to mean Paul suggesting there's no merit in associating at all with unbelievers. But, maybe there is a key word that reveals Paul's intention, more pragmatic in depth. The enigma is clear, but it's also the church's challenge. You cannot witness to unbelievers from a distance. You must associate to influence, or the mission becomes futile, no souls won. Paul wrote, "do not be UNEQUALLY yoked together with unbelievers." He explains in Corinthians how he's late in returning to them, and why. This

Luke 14:26 "You cannot be my disciple, unless you love me more than you love your father and mother, your wife and children, and your brothers and sisters. You cannot follow me unless you love me more than you love your own life."  We are to believe these are the literal words of Jesus. They are unsettling, although the meaning is very clear. Nothing similar appears in the other three Gospels. It doesn't help me that the author of Luke is greatly debated. Believers, of course, say there's no debate, God is the Author of the Bible. But, the actual historical record isn't so clear, or consistent. We can look to similar sentiments in other religions. Throughout history back to ancient times, holy figures, gurus, spiritual leaders and teachers in every form, have expected, requested, or compelled followers and students to practice exclusive loyalty and priority. To learn their teachings, those who study must shun all relationships that distract one's focus on thei