Sol's Inner Vault

Maybe think too much, yes? Who else secretly dreads New Year? Maybe no one, maybe only me. No reason for it, it's irrational, like other inexplicable impulses that come without clue, just feel it, stupid, phantom algorithms.  And, it always comes up too fast after Christmas. So, why am I shvitzing about another year's routine end? What else could it mean? Just the cruel anxiety of appraisals? Annual accounts summary, tally of net losses and gains. But, life isn't a spreadsheet.  Yup, also had the typical New Year's. The joyous celebrations, the crowds, drinks, loud countdowns in taverns, friends homes, parties and such. There have been those New Years, too, no mourning, no big introspection.  Celebrating endings and new starts, it can be as simple as that, a custom or ritual, a dance to acknowledge time. But, the year's failures can weigh more than a number, while successes seem light, not enough good to cheer about. But, that's what I always think no matter wha

Many concepts Jesus of Nazareth taught with Scripture, parable, and story have a similar theme: that which was last becomes first- a reversal of perspective meant to challenge the truth of practiced values and customs.  Those who have the least have given the most, while those with wealth- the Pharisees and teachers of the Law- shall be the last of heaven's inheritors. Proportion becomes the real measure, while sincerity of heart is what God favors over vanity, whatever the tithe.  The Gospel of Matthew records what Jesus said, and His bar is very high. It's a challenge to consider how it could happen, given today's turmoil. Yet, Jesus spoke clearly about the meek inheriting the Earth, and the merciful receiving mercy. He also described how the hunger for righteousness shall be filled.  Jesus taught the three elements of faith: love, compassion, selflessness. But I'm only a man, forever imperfect. Loving my enemy has never been more difficult, or even impossible, if tha

Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible. ~ Charles Caleb Colton There is always being hopeful. Like when I'm with my dog at a nearby park, we're always hopeful we'll see a baby bunny bounce out of the bushes. Or, some black birds in a rowdy circle, quarreling and excited at something. Or, a fallen palm tree frond, my dog must inspect it every time, end-to-end.  Or, being hopeful as a self-healing, counter to all the erosive energy spent on worry, the needless, endless kind. There is always the salvation or calm of attitude, the only thing controllable, sometimes, especially the dark times. There is always the hope that loved ones and friends will be well, or okay.  Does my dog have any use for hope? Yes, but not as desperately as her dad. Perhaps her hoping is more a happy anticipation, untethered to enduring worry or fear, but only in the moment. Scripture describes hope as a virtue, as a mechanism of faith and trust. In Job 11:18, "

Known by many names and traditions, The Magi, the Wise Men, the three Kings, the visitors of baby Jesus are shrouded in mystery and scant reference. In Scripture, they arrive in but one of the Four Gospels, this fact alone is most puzzling, and only a few lines describe their contribution to the story of Jesus and his mortal history. Mathew writes how the three men of prominent status saw and followed a certain new star, traveling together to find the momentous occasion of the birth of Jesus.  Earlier in Scripture, Old Testament, prophet Isaiah's predictions regarding the Messiah's appearance hint at the events the three wise men wished to honor, but there was also much drama in those times. Evil King Herod, the dominant, ruthless ruler of the region, heard of the birth of a new "King", and felt threatened by the possibility he could lose his powerful reign. But, the savvy travelers suspected Herod's plan to destroy his future opposition, never returning to the pa

Day off from work, not my typical Sunday morning routine, but all my chores done yesterday, in the park with my dog, just made sense to do, no regrets! 😎 Found this gift set of Jack Daniels I had forgotten about, so... Had breakfast and coffee already, so this was a cool, impromptu treat. Let's have a tasting! First up, Gentleman Jack, an extra filtered, extra smooth delight, easy, and fruity finish. Then, there's Tennessee Honey, very nice! Just the best sweet balance, and a silky texture. Next, Jack Daniels #7, the classic sour mash blend, the brand coming thru in the traditional taste. Tennessee Fire, a spirited pairing of hot cinnamon and rich quality whiskey that so reminds me of those beloved cinnamon toothpicks every boy in my generation craved.  Finally, there's Single Barrel Select, the cream of the whiskey crop, aged differently, one out of hundred barrels is selected for a darker version with noticeably deeper, complex flavor. My new favorite in this group, the

Tiny victories. There is some deep and unexpected happiness to, by chance, going thru an old crate and finding your own ancient writings. Long forgotten, not really lost but preserved like an unnamed mummy in tattered notebooks and worn writing pads. Dozens of early poems, articles, stories that I didn't even recognise, but it's indeed my handwriting, they're my pages. So many decades gone now, lots of space to completely forget the most earnest past efforts, writing anything, everything, from mid-teens to twenties, also a bit painful to read again, most of it so bad! 😎 But, old writings become like childhood's stuffed critters, cozy familiar, all the old feelings flooding back. Tiny victories, they keep us going.

Some point out the search for God has been ongoing since the earliest time. God goes unfound, the non-believers will remind, a thousand millenniums, since humankind could think and talk. No scientific evidence of God to date. Nowhere is there a tangible trace of divinity, spirit, or any life after this life. But, if you are Baruch Spinoza, or Immanuel Kant, or if you are a Deist, you'll see all of existence thru the exact opposite lens-- you cannot find even one microscopic speck of the universe that is absent God's power! Not one dot of existence excludes God's glorified presence, not a single atom spins beyond God's frequency.  Either God is nowhere, or Everywhere  at once, inseparable and inviolable, the first light that had no start, has no end, beaming across the cosmos for all, a sacred realm of immortality, God's best idea. So then, is it God's eternal mind, or, our tiny, fleeting mind, where to place faith, if anywhere? There's no denying, looking ab

Dialogue: Devil and Saint Thomas the Apostle  "I mean, it's completely understandable. We are creatures who are aware of our mortality, as we see everything else die, too. It's not a big leap to assume we also return to dust. So, humanity being vulnerable and microscopic, there quickly developed a need to help folks cope and hope. There came a natural call for an elaborate rationale that could persuade folks away from the damning depression of death, and from these physical, earthly bonds. There came a.quick longing to create the idea of God- a Creator who is bigger and much prior to death. A kind Master to take everyone's mind off of obvious disasters, abject suffering, and fearful impermanence. There came a need for religion and blind faith that an eternity of dust isn't the final fate for our humankind, if we only believe. No one blames anyone for this delusional creation, this good news idea there's something else."  "If I could get a word in here

Feeling so unsettled and utterly lost, but beyond some explanatuon or good reason. Still awake thru this long, sleepless night, fearing my own dreams and state of mind, can I ask the universe for one healing hug? Feeling no arms embrace, no quiet words, it's still okay, I can imagine the comfort and caring, as if there is a special way, or some order to these cloudless skies, some code of relief just to get me to another sunrise, another day of possibilities. So, this unnerving solitude is only a subjective scourge, but where is the kindness and holiday in the world? In the hard, brash news there is more despair, more random suffering. Maybe sleep isn't important now, maybe just holding on, long night alone.