Sol's Inner Vault

How do we experience "time"? Put aside, for this stream, the space-physics and science dynamics of time. Rather, how does time feel? Certainly, time involves pace, and sense of past and future. We may feel time in a crazy rush of parenting years, our kids shooting up like instant sprouts, time in a great big hurry straight forward, no looking back or sideways. Fleeting time. At other stages, the chapters can read much slower, during both bliss or sorrow, both joy or deep anguish. Time may creep as a prison term, or as if on a paradise island, moment by moment, so slow it seems there are even more moments in between. Or, time may suspend to stillness, as in the last, breathless moment of existence.  So, we feel time fast-slow, stopped, or flown by, all of these paces and tempos of consciousness, as background and context, imaginary or real. As science would explain it, our very limited senses and sensory systems create an illusion of time passing as a continuam of experience. ...

Sometimes lately, like now, my brain feels almost fevered, as if my quarrelous thoughts simmer away to a quick boil. And, I just got up. 6am. Haven't even seen the headlines yet. These times we're living thru, everyone jokes like it's funny-- crazy, right? But, how crazy?  How insane has our culture become, and who really cares? Today, we see more men being publicly violent with no restraint, as others video the damage for TikTok hits; the masses always comply. Today, abject cruelty is ranked, scored, reviewed, discussed to death, and classified to social archives for future reference. Today, what a man and woman are can no longer be defined. Arbitrary identity towers over individual integrity. Fast and gratuitous wealth dominates over random charity; while power is the most sought after asset. Today, gutter profanity flows everywhere like running water. Tiny children curse and their parents laugh, how cute-- hey, mom, dad, isn't that the future? Remorseless media celeb...

Wheeling galaxies suspended in fine motion pinned to a backlight of faint mystery far away glitter for fools or God's handiwork too many questions like stars that show then vanish  beneath horizons envisioned in dreams filaments of space repeat as neural pathways tributaries of experience measured by light years of distance no one can transverse not yet at least the vast dark expanse of universe that bars our knowledge of each other too far off doomed as strangers beyond mapping out fantasies of zodiacs heros and villains across the heavens battles of good and evil rage on as we sleep all forgotten when we rise as a final star blends into daylight the cosmos hidden behind a busy day's light  of chores and commerce but everpresent in every passing moment the galaxy calls out with gravity's insistent pull over all bending the doubtful persuading the stars to form their clusters as cerebral branches of networks with lights in chains of overlapping influence as if we cannot eve...

Non-believers say it's a zero sum game. All or nothing. Glory, or folly. There's no middle status or compromise. This is the essential core of fundamental Christianity. With nothing less important than souls at stake, and salvation the timeless mission.  It is also an impressive quality of the literalist Bible followers of Jesus Christ--you have faith in the entire story, accepting every word inspired directly from God, from Genesis to Revelations. Bethlehem to the Cross.There is but one path. If there is no Sabbath, there are no Miracles. If there is no Garden of Eden, there is no Resurrection. The whole story of the  traditional Messianic narratives foretold by divinely driven prophets, and promised to lost, wandering humankind. Faith means you accept as true above and beyond any proof or evidence of fact. You choose to believe without justification, inquiry, or critical evaluation.  Faith is the fabric of knowing hopefulness, and the rock solid foundation for values. A...

For this essay we assume God's unqualified presence, and the moral judging requisite of a Creator. God both exists, and judges right, wrong, glory, sinfulness, and life from death.   Then, does God also judge entire nations? This is a tricky query, because the intrinsic notion may be that individual souls are divinely assessed, not whole countries. But, Scripture is clear: nations are strictly held to account all throughout the Bible.  In the Torah, i.e., the five beginning books of the Old Testament, the nation of Israel is frequently admonished for sustaining a culture of sinning, and turning away from God's values. Shockingly, God ultimately floods the entire world, all the nations, for ignoring the Commandments that pained, frustrated Moses was given. Another interesting pattern is described throughout Scripture. In chapters of Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and Isaiah,  there are nine oracles of judgment against a group of nations—Egypt, Philistia, Moab, Ammon, Edom, Damascus, K...

Beginning with an incongruous statement, a seemingly opposite set of terms, how can doubt be wise? Doubt isn't a pleasant experience, it often comes with worry, or confusion. No one is ever willingly doubtful. However, doubt implies a certain standard of proof, a verification of assessment.  Doubt equals "still inquiring, not convinced by facts presented." Still exploring, still questioning, unwilling or unable to accept what others claim as facts. Being skeptical is a state of mind that doesn't necessarily involve conflict or a negative denial-- it just means I'm not convinced regarding some well-established narratives that have been accepted as "reality". The wisdom of doubt includes the liberating quality of vigorous curiosity, the freedom to keep inquiring, learning, and thinking.

Problem isn't exactly the right word, more like dilemma. My dilemma. I'm only a flawed human, reading and trying to comprehend God's mind, but the Bible is so woefully inconsistent. Certainly, a huge ton of Scripture is remarkably inspiring and eminently sensible, therefore very useful. Then, there's occasional Scripture that's crazy, like declaring an adulterer must be put to death, and ditto for gays, death again. Also, less lethal bigotries like men cannot marry divorced woman, that's adultery, too. Huh? Sorry, no way that's God's word or will. So, not every "jot and tittle" of Scripture was Creator inspired. The dilemma becomes separating the "wheat from the chaff", gleaning that which is godly true from negative, man-conceived ideas.  More ungodly notions include: in Jeremiah, God allegedly commands cannibalism against Israel's enemy. But, wow. In Psalm 137.9 we read: "Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashe...

Don't like God. You read it right. There is no Commandment to like God. Love, fear, and remain in awe of God exclusively, yes, for all this existence we most affectionately call the Universe.  But, there's much about God that only frustrates me with shrouded unknowing. God won't reveal, confirm, or prove the idea of a Creator. Instead, we are told to believe. Faith. Believing that which isn't empirically proven or verified. So far, no trace of God's face, or much insight into God's nature. I don't like not knowing. Simply deciding to believe isn't at all satisfactory to me. That idea only leaves me unfulfilled, seeking as before what is true, what is false. I don't like God for being so inconsistent. Save the Jews with Moses, desert the Jews of Europe WWII, and everyone else lost in all the world's many wars. God allows suffering of innocents with no explanation.  There are countless more examples down thru history. Terrible evil wins every day a...

Tyranny is an irrational monster.  A godless empire, empty of soul and faith, it cannot be won over with mere appeals for justice. Of course, Jesus of Nazareth never accepted that notion. Menacing Rome, with its powerful, systematic dominance over all of Judea, had no conscience to bend, no mercy to encourage. Yet still, the single mission of the Gospel was clear: bring the Good News of God's redemptive kingdom to all, including the non-believers. Jesus thought of old Moses, and of besieged Noah, and of their seemingly impossible tasks, their deep will of conviction against the one-eyed giants of human evil and fear. After his baptism experience in the desert with his prophet cousin John, Jesus retreated to his time of fasting and prayer, just as the prophet Elijah had done in his time of anguish. The Gospels most often quote the books of Psalms and Isaiah.  One may wonder and research which scriptures Jesus may have drawn strength from. Perhaps, Isaiah 41:10- "Fear not,...