This cursed dementia is a wickedly evil teacher, but I've learned plenty. I understand now that everything is truly fragile, these structures of reality we imagine as sturdy pillars. The bureaucracies of identity, our name, birthdate, license image, fingerprint, phone or Social Security numbers, kindred face, favored location- they become like shaky pilings beneath a creaking pier. Hold on to the air, there's little else. What you thought was trustworthy is suspect, most familiar turns to side glance of doubt, afraid to look foolish while asking the questions again and again: Where are we now? My house? What are we doing? What is the plan today? What we take for granted fills in all the empty spaces, it cannot be otherwise, no one could function. Dementia teaches how the world as we feel it is just a patchwork of collective ideas, Interwoven agreements too easily torn into forgotten patterns, lost routines, all that made us who we are, for awhile. ...
When necessary, reread this to remind yourself about what's real. You are not a job, or money, or no money. You're not a car or any other possession. You're not a bank account, bills, or, receipts. You're not anything online, offline, or out of line. You're not just a head full of thoughts and worries. You're not whatever you fear or daydream about. You're not any of these small and transitory things. You are a DNA unique human, aware and conscious, living your life day by day, hour by hour. You are perfectly created by the universe, in spite of your faults. You are a loved member of a family that includes your parents, other relatives, and your family of friends, roommates, neighbors, everyone who values and cares about your well being and person. All the other distractions in the first part are easy to get sucked into, to identify with, to define yourself by, but so inaccurately. You don't need to define anything, you already are defined by your chara...
We can not always know who or what the teachers or lessons are. Some of what I learned early, still learning a half century later, a short and consequential list: Courage, the rarest of qualities. A hateful lie may live forever. Rage is every man's Kryptonite. Generosity can be swindled. Reason, the refuge from chaos. All have an unassailable core. Age, a number; attitude, timeless. Teachers and lessons come from both losses and gains, times of turmoil or calm, all unannounced, becoming the basis of experience. This daily instruction never ends.
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