Sol's Inner Vault

Since the earliest beginnings of human experience, the practice of chanting, known thru many traditions and histories, is there a common thread that ties all?  Thinking of the great mantras, Hare Rama, Hallelujah, Allahu Akbar, Baruch atah Adonai, Om Mani Padme Hum, Hail Mary, many more, each a meditation, all recited in rhythmic pulses of breath and depth of devoted emotion. Chanting that numbers respiration, paces introspection thru humble reflection, body and mind together imagine a sheer immenseness of cosmos, the constant praise of creation's expanding space, the measured meter and cadence of the dumbfounded spirit, the elusive realms, the new electricity of quantum promise and wonder. The mantras and chants of humanity- from Gregorian to Tibetan- all may invoke the various names and faces of God.  But, what doesn't change is the intrinsic, mortal need for a grounding to something greater, a centering and focusing that chanting brings in tones of harmonious reconnection. h

Agnostic prayer. Two words you don't expect to see side by side. Is it possible? No doubt, a subject for debate, but not here, not now. It's simply the phenomena of my reality. Why?  Difficult to describe.  There are only three things: facts, faith, and mystery. Said another way- what I know is true, what I believe is true, and what remains unknown to me. Is there a fourth? Whether God exists remains a mystery to me, and science, and humankind. Either true, or wishful thinking by fearful mortals facing death, nobody knows with certainty.  In fact, no certainty to existence. Only know what I hope to be true, a just God running the Universe. Good and evil in constant battle. Creation and destruction ongoing.  But, this speculation hardly helps the urge of prayer and reflection as a natural behavior of healing. Reluctantly agnostic, short of any tangible proof, I'm still inclined to pray, with only a humbling sense of smallness amidst the vast cosmos of common experience.  Unk

What is just beyond the next walkway? Or, just beyond the next falling sun? What is just beyond the next expectation, the next corner to turn, just beyond the next step, just beyond a preview, what is it all coming to, what will we see? What is there just beyond you and me?

There is truth deemed universal, and truth deemed only transitory. The intrinsic problem about "Truth": there must still be an interpreter of the sacred words, Scripture, and language meaning. We are all personal interpreters. Ascribing specific references to commonly read words- that's how truth becomes relative to the teller, and to the different minds comprehending, striving to know.

Allegory: if I am a boat's skipper, do I care what color my anchor might be? Do I care if it's forged from this iron or that steel? Do I care that it's a traditional hook shape, or something else entirely? What does a skipper need from an anchor? That it works. Securely tied off, heavy enough, and instantly available. If I am a mortal navigating life from day-to-day, from where do I draw my strength to continue thru the difficult and worse days? What do I need from my faith? That it works. That it's tied off by my intrinsic cords of personal values, the eternally tethered connection: 10 Commandments, Golden Rule, Four Noble Truths, all work to anchor my character, temper my passion, and tame my worst or most selfish tendencies. Differences or similarities, narrow or wide lanes of beliefs, stories, narratives, interpretations, translations, or claims to exclusively correct knowledge thru Scriptural defining- all of these less important distinctions are as the various

Many may challenge the notion, it's understood. It confounds all the established beliefs, the variously pointed paths of faith. But, for me, there is a glorious, nameless majesty, a royally unreligous crown of mystery which represents the limitless, universal experience, constantly whirling matrix of questions far beyond a horizon of knowledge. There is, to me, a beauty most viscerally felt in this mystery, unequaled by any human story of imaginative gods and devils and mortals with living souls. There is this drive within to know the real fabric or algorithm or equation or Scripture or vision or truth reveal without doubt, rendering faith obsolete or unnecessary- but then, where to go for our strength? Would knowing more be a new source? We cannot ever know enough to then leap out of our ego's mirror, so is the desire to know itself a trap? Consciousness at its core query,  the silent, enduring grandeur of our common existance, the way nothing is ever answered forever, all

The countless lives behind windows, every one so anonymous and precious, immersed in stories uniquely drawn, unknown by their window frames alone, the spectrum of mortal experience played out in rooms full of days and years, unscripted moments in-between, Venetian blind shadows of indoor souls going about their sundry routines, unspoken rituals of identity and relationship, or the windows that hide the horrors of private hells, or cursed prisons of gloom, nightmares the neighbors hear and ignore, or the sobbing child, crouched and trembling in the dark corner, or the wife's face burning with shame from a fresh and angry slap, or the massively silent, glacial pain of loneliness, windows of the heart forever nailed shut, or those empty windows that reveal nothing at all to passersby, to an outside world too Tick-Tocked to care anyway, or cracked windows of brutal negligence, quiet terrors, subtle tortures of circumstance, or the dusty windows on the sides of buildings of wasted dream

Spread evenly, roots to leaves. Pholem, xylem, and cambium. Hope, loyalty, and perseverance. Just as the dead heartwood  within the tree is protected by  only a few thin layers of living  fibers, and the tree is kept alive- So is the soul's earliest pain  protected  from mortal futility by  the irrepressible hopefulness of  purpose- memory dims the rest.  

Perhaps, it's understandably upsetting for some to consider: although far more cerebrally evolved, we are still just animals. More specifically, mammals, homo-sapien mammals. Simply stated, we are apes, human apes. So, does this answer all possible questions? Not at all, and only creates even more mystery, more questions to answer and connect to a remarkably greater picture of our partially discernable life and world. I hear my many friends of faith saying some version of "Hold on, science explains very little. What about God's plan thru the Word,  unsaved souls vs. eternity, the coming final victory over evil?" Well, this is one ape who wouldn't disagree, I'd welcome such a victory, thru any means or reality. Yet, have long suspected but with no persuasive evidence, just a natural hunch: loyal faith and dogmatic science may not ever intersect anywhere, but instead both represent opposite parallel universes of endless numerical varience and possibility. E

It's difficult to remember to take the extra moment to consider what may be possible, often something unlikely. But it can also be something typical. Simple example is the horn on your steering wheel, how you realize too late it's a senior you just startled. Awareness has a brief half-life. Remember phone booths? Of course not. One day, banged on the glass, in a hurry to make my call. Who else turns around but Milton Berle, holding up an index finger to my young impatience. No less the quick fool, the ego leads like a bumbling clown stumbled out of the tiny car, first of dozens to follow. Everyone included in that old stunt. Difficult to remember how moments define the mood, attitude lights the candle, patience sets the best table. Who pauses anymore to raise a glass?

If I were a ponderous purple onion, you could peel to my core, finding nothing new or more, nothing terrible, nor wondrous.  If I were a child's wooden train, I'd turn back around sixty years again, remembering it from the smoke and sounds it never made.  If I were a darkened alley past midnight, staying out of helicopter light, no shadows to trust beyond those that move too fast.  Somehow our sun keeps its secrets burning on, while trillions of black holes draw in the churning dust from every ancient universe. The background glow still seen, tracking each of us from within, no one may know their destiny's way, nor that fateful final day. When, out goes  the light in a rude bum's rush, a moment then gone, stars colluding in their solitude, nothing personal, all along.

Did God also make my impetuous curiosity, my persistantly earnest questioning? My mulling over all that I learn about or experience? Or, is my mystery over Creation and the cosmos just another fanciful distraction from simply sensing the answers to all my questions, rather than thinking my way to some perceived conclusion? Perhaps all matters of faith revolve in rarified realms well beyond mundane musings of the mind's aimless meanderings. So, is the human brain an utterly useless machine to calibrate the Mind of God? Should I suspect and temper my curious spirit, rather than trust it's also a God-made characteristic, an inherently positive blessing? Or, a burdened curse to lead me astray?

For all humankind's wondering, and wandering, and seeking, and questioning, and yearning, the Scriptures describe a Mind that is unapproachable by mortal efforts, but rather thru faith, acceptance, and a resolute choice to believe all that is beyond the rational  mathematics of reason and logic. But the mystery-bound paradox also remains illusive of clarity, as the Most High also made the human brain, our intrinsic instrument of comprehension.

(Five Haiku @ 65) Busy spouse, teen son Three strangers all summer long Each in our shadow. The days lounge but weeks Go faster, winter coming  soon, while months whiz by. Who wants to ponder Over distortions of time With so little left? One day in rehab Father asked: "how'd I get here?" He knew. Year by year. So, good to be here  Or anywhere these late days Storms not far away.

This, to me, is incomplete. As I define his statement, he meant other humans. I doubt the Buddha would disagree: seeking strength or comfort from a source of faith, from a Higher Power than myself, although a permanent mystery for this life, is worthy.

We're all seasonal items. Don't mean to be morbid or foreboding, just a thought that re-plays in some form probably daily, in the market, driving around, or at home, a certain awareness, or recalling. Just strikes me starkly some days, how we're here one moment, and then we're not here, ever again as far as we know, not much. Dandelions, blown into wind. At this season of life, the invisible follower just a silent step behind, ready when absolutely necessary but not before, irrelevent now, patient to wait. Remember to be right here, wherever that is, the moment I'm in, leave the future-past where they are, no conflating all three. A season begun in a sunrise inkling, a horizon breaking into a wink of day, as if it's all happened a trillion times before. Later is sooner now, wheels turning slower, more certain, seasons rushing for reasons both common and rare.

The specific understanding (as Jesus of Nazareth himself described it), narrow and unswerving- that every single letter, even "one jot or one tittle..", of the Scripture is divinely scribed, is a strict, inflexible view. Yet, unwavering doesn't at all mean inaccurate- every detail of this literal understanding may be precisely correct- no one knows. That's when choosing to believe becomes all-important, bound by faith, commitment, conviction. But this understanding is "all or nothing", by rational construct. Either God created the Heavens and Earth, and humankind is on a Messianic path, and Jesus born to the Christ and Trinity, who died on the Cross but beat death by the Resurrection, and who will return again to save the world from evil's destruction, all of it- unparsed, undivided by mere mortal reasoning or trivial intellectual debate, accepting and embracing ALL of it, the entire understanding- or then, nothing. You have nothing. No soul, no im

We're inclined to reason and common sense, by divine design. In the end, we believe what rings true for each of us.

"Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness."  James 3:18 Disciple J ames speaks boldly about the higher standard for teachers, and how none speak perfectly. So, all must be wary of the power of the tongue, the destructive sin of irresponsible speech, how it can easily harm. In the larger context, James also speaks of two truths: one verifies a person's character thru deeds, righteous actions that help and uplift those most in urgent need. But the actions must be with pure heart, free of humankind's evils. The other truth comes only from the wisdom of Heaven's grace, and God's purest love for us, always impartial and sincere. For me, it's as close as the daily interactions with others, the opportunities to be peaceful, lead more often with my better nature.

The Bible's books, Old and New, are rich with scriptural questions, avenues for thought, wonder, and the challenge of sacred mystery. Hebrews is an elegant and eloquently composed epistle establishing Jesus as Christ and King over Christianity, the Trinity realized, the Messianic promise fulfilled, for humankind's grace and redemption for all eternity. Most Christians don't question Hebrews author as being Paul, the Pharisee disciple. But, there's some intrigue. Was this letter written by Paul, after all? A few inconsistencies emerge that seem historically incongruent. First, there is no salutation at the start, as with every other Paul authorship to the earliest Church. The reference "To the Hebrews" appears in the earliest known copy, but it's not in the original manuscript. Odd. Even more puzzling, some read the letter's style as sounding very different from the other epistles, both in complexity of language and words used, tonal qualities, an

Psalm 139:13-14 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully  and  wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And  that  my soul knows very well. This passage describes the awe felt when considering the exquisite, harmonic beauty of our inner and outer world. Miracle of existance perfect in kind, the Universe makes no mistakes with the physics of God's imagination, all things possible, and time a myth. The inspiring Psalm speaks to the certainty of God, and of our soul.

Psalm139:23,24NLT Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life . This Psalm evokes both gratitude and appreciation that the human universals of doubt and anxiety cannot hide in our hearts. God already knows my thoughts, so there is nowhere to hide from my own integrity; i.e., my conscience. The Commandments answer all.  Praying to know the unaware ways I may offend God's code is always worthwhile and healing. The everlasting isn't my concern. Too many unknowns to fret over. The Psalm generates a humility for the Mysteries yet unsolved, as God also blesses me with constant and random curiosity. Much of Psalm 139 then extols the omnipresence of the Creator, the beautiful splendor of Creation including our own beating hearts, and the human bond that endures.

Historically, Buddhism pre-dates Christianity by six centuries, beginnng with Siddhartha Gautama (better known as the Buddha, l. c. 563 - c. 483 BCE). According to legend, Gautama was a Hindu prince who renounced his position and wealth to seek enlightenment as a spiritual ascetic, attained his goal and, in preaching his path to others, founded Buddhism in India in the 6th-5th centuries. The events of his life are largely legendary, but he is considered an actual historical figure. The origins of Christianity go back to Roman Judea in the early first century. The four canonical Gospels date from around 70-90 AD, the Pauline epistles having been written before them around 50-60 AD. Jesus of Nazareth:  c. 4 BC – AD 30 / 33, also referred to as Jesus Christ, was a first-century Jewish preacher and religious leader. He is the central figure of Christianity, the world's largest religion. Most Christians believe he is the incarnation of God the Son and the awaited messiah, prophesied i

Many folks say it's the greatest story in all the history of humankind. It may be just as believed, every detail, the intrinsically beautiful, immensely impacting, and enduring story of the Messiah, Jesus of Nazareth. The traditions of messianic history, a Savior arriving to deliver humankind from its weaknesses, raise up the concepts of mortality and divinity, the worldly ways contrasted to heavenly ways- it's been a yearning and longing as old as existence, the desire to know God, understand death, and overcome the natural fears of living in a thoroughly unknown consciousness for a finite time. The Old Testament describes a God (Yaway) who exhibits decidedly human attributes: rage, vengeance, jealousy, intolerance. The first five books, the Torah, largely the story of Moses, tell how a people escaped from evil bondage, and awaited a leader to ensure their salvation and future identity. The story of Jesus- as Christians believe- may in fact be completely correct and accu

Everyone is always guessing about what is true. We simply don't know, so we believe this or that notion, or a particular, specific narrative. Faith is a choice, a decision then embraced and followed. Our human guessing goes by many terms. The resolute conviction to believe something is still a form of guessing, as no one factually knows much about this existance, and mysterious universe. Faith and knowing, they're not the same, not ever.

BS aside, the endless parades of words that pass thru our daily experience, and thru the larger culture- all our words are superfluous, after-the-fact, nearly irrelevant by comparison: before the ornaments of popular verbiage, our actions already define us, express our values, and most accurately summarise our truest priorities. You can hear or read every word I ever utter, and weigh those words this way and that, parsing the meanings, considering the context, etc. Or, you can simply watch what I do. My actions best describe my inner perspectives. Actions rarely deceive, while all words have built-in deceptions. BS aside- and so much of it everywhere one turns today- our acts all together become the candid mosaic of one's character, and may determine the quality of our life. 

An essay: Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Christianity, Islamism. Five faiths, five selected quotes, and some personal reflections. Buddha- "Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth."  First two are easy to recognize, the third is illusive, open to argument, strife, pain. Desire and suffering handcuffed for eternity, inseperable, bound to the seeking of truth's right path.  Lord Krishna- "Your birth is a mistake you'll take your whole life to correct." We stumble out into the world with so many decisions and choices already determined. Gender, parents, history, name, core self-identity, early influence, all determined before we're asked, before we have a say. Multiple lifetimes like a curing process, old traits purged over each new existance, the kiln of time. Moses- "Who am I that I should  go unto Pharoah, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?" Self-doubt and an overwhelming burden of assi

My guess is that no human has ever known the nature of God. Every path, religion, philosophy, denomination, and belief system ever known is the same blind groping, the same earnest guessing, the same faithful hoping, the same human desire to be on the real path that is true and righteous. Yet, no one knows. Everyone is guessing about the mysterious and unknown, but no one wants to hear that! I know that I'm guessing, but God knows that too, and sees my doubts! Merely wondering about all that's beyond me is salvation enough to escape the banal and mundane, that which would deny possibility of spirit, or the grateful blessing and driving reverie of curiosity.

Moses awakened into a new day,  recalling his overwhelming task.  This was the way, he was certain now, no more wavering this time, no more self-doubt. Besides, no other way had worked for him, or had taken him anywhere good. All were dead ends until now, until this path of lasting promise.  He no longer looked without into the dark weakness of a fearful, stumbling human civilization, hot and restless with uncertainty. Instead, he looked within now to the primordial light illuminating his destiny, a perilous path back to God's enigmatic palace of pain and impermanence here on Earth, in this flesh, with a fresh resolve of higher recognition, a new and inclusive regard for all creation. Moses knew what he had to do.

The known and the unknown, certainty and uncertainty. Can we be certain of anything?  Recently, a fifth major law of physics was stumbled upon, a complete shock to befuddled researchers. Another team of scientists are now claiming there's hard evidence of sub-atomic particles traveling faster than the speed of light- if confirmed, a fundamentally impacting phenomenon that Einstein believed was impossible.  The entire universe constantly bubbles up new mystery, like an endlessly refilling cauldron of new tricks, cooked up to stymie our sense of knowing, and confounding our desire to feel safe. All known facts seem to stack upon shifting sands, amidst changing wind, or elusively possible mathematics, yet undiscovered angles and technologies to re-test long accepted assumptions. What is Dark Energy-Matter? Where's the proof or disproof of the substance of God? Does good-evil have an operating formula across the cosmos? Maybe? Unlikely?  The known and the unknown, we try to get thr

This is about the mind of God. Huh? What could that even mean? God is incomprehensible to us, permanently beyond our grasp. God is the mystery of glory and grace, we as humans have no chance of knowing God's mind.  True. All true. How can I, a sub-microscopic speck of momentary existance, here for but a nano-blink of time, how can I approach such unknowable thoughts as these? Yet, so many moments in a typically human day, it would be useful to know a higher perspective, What Would God Do, moments needing and then heeding a consistent moral clarity. Although a universe of light-years distant from God's knowing, should we not still imagine, never fully achieving it, but bettering ourselves by at least wondering? The broad, convenient grey areas humans have between wrong and right- God has no such grey area. The operative hypocrisy we all so imperfectly prove on mortal occasion- God has no such hypocrisy.

My weakest days of faith are few, but typically full of the usual suspects of doubt, confusion, too much unknown, resenting the mystery regarding the true nature of our intrinsic destiny.  Is it just ego vanity, wanting to know the purpose of reality? Like a mirror trying to lose its reflection, quite impossible? Faith and knowledge are eternally opposing forces, or are they? My weakest days, the evidence around me becomes the best case, the reason to reconsider the nihilism of our times.  The certainty we are subjects of a Creator is proven in relationships, first and foremost, the current of caring we feel between any pairings of love, be they human, animal, or in all of nature.  God lives in our common regard for each other, and thru selfless acts, this coming closest to wisdom- that must suffice for all our mortal curiosities.

(More new year notes to self.) Do the things propelled by happiness. Don't let my bliss become my abyss. Do kindness-mitzva hourly even better. Don't sweat the snarky mis-labelers. Do all things to support a child's hope. Don't confuse infernal with the eternal. Do cherish my lucky wealth of friends. Don't risk my soul for temporary bling. Do seek God's path to the right thing.

The stones simply learned to get along. Some stayed with their own, while others strayed afar. Each was different and beautiful, pulsing their softened inner glow against the morning's sea mists. Fresh from a child's new dreams, smooth as the shine of rounded hopes, each stone collected once and again in the mind's jar of keepers, each the inevitable masterwork placed as stray moment of time , or as spectrums of rainfall over shadowy greys, or over endless hues of cool amber.

Growing up white and Jewish in mostly black South Los Angeles, 50's and 60's, I remember understanding at a very early age how differently people experience this very same world, based on our respective family influence, and our own personal history. I am again reminded of that difference in perception today, as our enduring culture seems nearly cleaved apart, more divided and quarreling, with irresponsible, incendiary rhetoric coming from the highest places. America, 2017, is an increasingly insecure, disunited family of 330 million individuals.  The country was essentially assaulted and bruised by a viscerally soul-wrenching presidential election, with an unlikely, incompetent, and disasterously unstable Vanity Queen crowned the winner. Since January, it's been a nightmare of nightly news and daily embarrasments from the White House. Americans are already weary of the whiplash, and it's just been 200 days.  But thinking back, as a young boy and man, over half a centur

I've always thought of it as my "Here I am..." moment. Have to come up with a better name for it, it's so vitally important. Very difficult to put into words, what essentially is a feeling, an awareness. A frequently but briefly experienced 'state'. I am trying to describe certain moments I have most days, most of my.life, since childhood. It can happen anywhere, anytime, no matter what's happening within or about me. Happy, unhappy. Good times or bad. No recognizable pattern, this moment happens spontaneously, always a surprise, but also always welcome. What it always feels like physically...it's like an extra light switch is clicked on from somewhere, everything seeming brighter, more illuminated, clearer. My thoughts in fact seem crystal clear, in a way different from usual. Uncluttered, slower. At the same moment it feels like my entire mind is overrun with a particular awareness: here I am, in my life. In the light. An awareness of self from an ob

Although demonstrably imperfect on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, have hoped to generally think well of myself, just a guy, a good one, wanting to be. C ertainly don't feel worthy of the grace and good luck granted, so then where has it all come from? From the same source of all things known or unknown, real as hovering hummingbirds, mysterious as ghosts of souls. C ertainly don't feel able, qualified, or ready to claim any wisdom of inner working- have never felt so microscopic small, and the expanding cosmos more vastly incomprehensible. You'd think the clouds would clear after sixty-eight years of cover, but I'm not getting any smarter. There are new fears to face down, new puzzles to overcome, maybe even more grace or guidance for the time remaining.  

I don't know what I'm doing when I pray. Don't know if anyone is listening or cares. All I really know is what I want to be true, that there is a just God in charge, already knowing all of our prayers, always on the job, running the universe with order and purpose. Don't really know what praying does, or why I pray. But I pray. Who can ever figure out the future, thinking as much as we do about what hasn't happened yet, guessing outcomes as if we could? Why daydream and imagine, as if we really have any control? At night, my mind dreams on, but the future remains unknowable. So, don't really know why I dream. But I dream. The fears can be paralizing now, world exploding, cultures colliding, technology ruling, and we're raising a teen. The fears have no name or face sometimes, only something out there, coming who knows when. So, I don't really know why I fear. But I fear. Easier when we're younger, since everything is new, to be curious, full of quest

Burning eye of sunset, portal of last horizon, dying day falling away beneath the wash of lights, begin again cross-universe, rising in another star's realm before there was time, before the unfathomable distance between masses moving apart, yet God's mystery breath of consciousness become manifest, we're inexplicably here, mere specks of dust along for the journey.

From dozens of Bible scriptures referring to wisdom, I've chosen four here to consider the topic from different perspectives. Proverbs 3:7  "Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil." This scripture says to me: be skeptical and challenging of my own preciously kept and ardently expressed views. Fear in this sense means two things: there is a moral structure to existence- Good and Evil- and, be humble because of all that no human may ever comprehend.  Job 12:12  "Wisdom belongs to the aged, and understanding to the old." Well, at 68, in that group, yet I understand less than ever. And, sometimes the innocent wisdom of the very young is also self-evident.  Proverbs 19:20  "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise." This is the hard part- self-reflection. Know thyself, especially regarding feedback you indignantly dispute. My own personal favorite verse on wisdom perhaps gives a glimpse of God's defi

The Sabbath, fourth Commandment, a Law of God. Who understands its meaning best, or, is there a single wisdom? In religious conversation with a few dear friends, it's often a chuckle seeing the reaction to my statement, "Jesus is definitely my favorite Jew."  But it's true, and there's no real contradiction at all. Growing up in a post-Holocaust, Jewish family, I didn't really learn much about who Jesus was. But later, for a few years, the subjects associated with the historical Jesus became a deep interest for me, an intriguing mystery with few clues, many angles and speculation, but scant sources for any consensus.  In the four Gospels we get glimpses. Brief, textual shadows of details, inconsistent, contradictory, hardly defining or clarifying the complicated times in Judea and Jeruselum. Who was Jesus? Of course, this is also where faith takes over. For billions of believers, His identity is divinely clear, and unequivocal. For me, whoever he is, whatever

In Galatians, 6:7 (NLT) it is written: "Don't be misled- you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant."  To me, this means don't ignore the seemingly arbitrary but often strangely consistent nature of action and reaction.  Karma may not always seem a constant, or even a trustworthy notion in the short-term. But there is an irrefutable law that dynamically holds true, how good attracts good, and bad attracts more bad. It's true, we may reap what we sow. We may not hold the official scorecard, but the scripture reminds me that we cannot deny the magestic, mysterious forces of the natural world of pragmatic survival, nor should we dismiss the admittedly unpredictable, often logical, and always timeless physics of morality.

Have pondered this certain Jeremiah passage for a long time. There is no point, if there is not only a Creator, but also a universal order. Faith holds this to be true. Jeremiah 17:9-10  The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.” The scripture is clear: distrust matters that are only of emotion. We're rewarded on both deed and motive. Doing the right thing for the right and selfless reason. Yet, we cannot know in what realm God's rewards are granted, as we witness good under attack, while evil buys the new Maserati. The multi-cultural principles of Karma seem equally imprecise, yet we observe over limited time. Justice and equity may play out over eons and even light-years. Faith means timeless- a trust that all ledgers will tally up by eternity.

Would we wish to know our exact number of days on this earth? Not I. Because, we prefer to measure time through memories, events, days that mark the milestones or crossroads collected over a long life. The Creator of the universe wouldn't measure time as such. The Psalm invites us to re-value the counted days of our precious consciousness, never knowing the exact moment it all ends. Yet, perhaps no final end- we'll know soon enough; or, vanish summarily. "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

Who has known the scourge of depression, the vanquished spirit? However you think of a Higher Power, this timely scripture applies the same: "You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word." Psalm 119:114 We may know both thru faith, an inviolable sanctuary of safety, and protection against illness of despair.

(From January) When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place.  Psalm 118:5 Yes, new year, finally. The last was a long, slow train wreck that is still derailing, but here we are. What has changed beyond a number? A digit at the end that we'll now remember, what else, one day to the next, same world? Hope and fear arrive together, but that's okay, isn't it always that way?  This time, after a pandemic year of extremes more contrasted, worn out by a clinging, unclear crisis with little relief, have my few refuges changed? When I'm scared beyond reason I still reflexively turn to God. Where else to go, when my own sorting cannot calm to clarity? Prayer is the first and last antidote to fear, going forward, 2021.