Sol's Inner Vault

How do we experience "time"? Put aside, for this stream, the space-physics and science dynamics of time. Rather, how does time feel? Certainly, time involves pace, and sense of past and future. We may feel time in a crazy rush of parenting years, our kids shooting up like instant sprouts, time in a great big hurry straight forward, no looking back or sideways. Fleeting time. At other stages, the chapters can read much slower, during both bliss or sorrow, both joy or deep anguish. Time may creep as a prison term, or as if on a paradise island, moment by moment, so slow it seems there are even more moments in between. Or, time may suspend to stillness, as in the last, breathless moment of existence.  So, we feel time fast-slow, stopped, or flown by, all of these paces and tempos of consciousness, as background and context, imaginary or real. As science would explain it, our very limited senses and sensory systems create an illusion of time passing as a continuam of experience.

Sometimes lately, like now, my brain feels almost fevered, as if my quarrelous thoughts simmer away to a quick boil. And, I just got up. 6am. Haven't even seen the headlines yet. These times we're living thru, everyone jokes like it's funny-- crazy, right? But, how crazy?  How insane has our culture become, and who really cares? Today, we see more men being publicly violent with no restraint, as others video the damage for TikTok hits; the masses always comply. Today, abject cruelty is ranked, scored, reviewed, discussed to death, and classified to social archives for future reference. Today, what a man and woman are can no longer be defined. Arbitrary identity towers over individual integrity. Fast and gratuitous wealth dominates over random charity; while power is the most sought after asset. Today, gutter profanity flows everywhere like running water. Tiny children curse and their parents laugh, how cute-- hey, mom, dad, isn't that the future? Remorseless media celeb

Wheeling galaxies suspended in fine motion pinned to a backlight of faint mystery far away glitter for fools or God's handiwork too many questions like stars that show then vanish  beneath horizons envisioned in dreams filaments of space repeat as neural pathways tributaries of experience measured by light years of distance no one can transverse not yet at least the vast dark expanse of universe that bars our knowledge of each other too far off doomed as strangers beyond mapping out fantasies of zodiacs heros and villains across the heavens battles of good and evil rage on as we sleep all forgotten when we rise as a final star blends into daylight the cosmos hidden behind a busy day's light  of chores and commerce but everpresent in every passing moment the galaxy calls out with gravity's insistent pull over all bending the doubtful persuading the stars to form their clusters as cerebral branches of networks with lights in chains of overlapping influence as if we cannot eve

Non-believers say it's a zero sum game. All or nothing. Glory, or folly. There's no middle status or compromise. This is the essential core of fundamental Christianity. With nothing less important than souls at stake, and salvation the timeless mission.  It is also an impressive quality of the literalist Bible followers of Jesus Christ--you have faith in the entire story, accepting every word inspired directly from God, from Genesis to Revelations. Bethlehem to the Cross.There is but one path. If there is no Sabbath, there are no Miracles. If there is no Garden of Eden, there is no Resurrection. The whole story of the  traditional Messianic narratives foretold by divinely driven prophets, and promised to lost, wandering humankind. Faith means you accept as true above and beyond any proof or evidence of fact. You choose to believe without justification, inquiry, or critical evaluation.  Faith is the fabric of knowing hopefulness, and the rock solid foundation for values. All is

For this essay we assume God's unqualified presence, and the moral judging requisite of a Creator. God both exists, and judges right, wrong, glory, sinfulness, and life from death.   Then, does God also judge entire nations? This is a tricky query, because the intrinsic notion may be that individual souls are divinely assessed, not whole countries. But, Scripture is clear: nations are strictly held to account all throughout the Bible.  In the Torah, i.e., the five beginning books of the Old Testament, the nation of Israel is frequently admonished for sustaining a culture of sinning, and turning away from God's values. Shockingly, God ultimately floods the entire world, all the nations, for ignoring the Commandments that pained, frustrated Moses was given. Another interesting pattern is described throughout Scripture. In chapters of Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and Isaiah,  there are nine oracles of judgment against a group of nations—Egypt, Philistia, Moab, Ammon, Edom, Damascus, Kedar a

Beginning with an incongruous statement, a seemingly opposite set of terms, how can doubt be wise? Doubt isn't a pleasant experience, it often comes with worry, or confusion. No one is ever willingly doubtful. However, doubt implies a certain standard of proof, a verification of assessment.  Doubt equals "still inquiring, not convinced by facts presented." Still exploring, still questioning, unwilling or unable to accept what others claim as facts. Being skeptical is a state of mind that doesn't necessarily involve conflict or a negative denial-- it just means I'm not convinced regarding some well-established narratives that have been accepted as "reality". The wisdom of doubt includes the liberating quality of vigorous curiosity, the freedom to keep inquiring, learning, and thinking.

Problem isn't exactly the right word, more like dilemma. My dilemma. I'm only a flawed human, reading and trying to comprehend God's mind, but the Bible is so woefully inconsistent. Certainly, a huge ton of Scripture is remarkably inspiring and eminently sensible, therefore very useful. Then, there's occasional Scripture that's crazy, like declaring an adulterer must be put to death, and ditto for gays, death again. Also, less lethal bigotries like men cannot marry divorced woman, that's adultery, too. Huh? Sorry, no way that's God's word or will. So, not every "jot and tittle" of Scripture was Creator inspired. The dilemma becomes separating the "wheat from the chaff", gleaning that which is godly true from negative, man-conceived ideas.  More ungodly notions include: in Jeremiah, God allegedly commands cannibalism against Israel's enemy. But, wow. In Psalm 137.9 we read: "Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashe

Don't like God. You read it right. There is no Commandment to like God. Love, fear, and remain in awe of God exclusively, yes, for all this existence we most affectionately call the Universe.  But, there's much about God that only frustrates me with shrouded unknowing. God won't reveal, confirm, or prove the idea of a Creator. Instead, we are told to believe. Faith. Believing that which isn't empirically proven or verified. So far, no trace of God's face, or much insight into God's nature. I don't like not knowing. Simply deciding to believe isn't at all satisfactory to me. That idea only leaves me unfulfilled, seeking as before what is true, what is false. I don't like God for being so inconsistent. Save the Jews with Moses, desert the Jews of Europe WWII, and everyone else lost in all the world's many wars. God allows suffering of innocents with no explanation.  There are countless more examples down thru history. Terrible evil wins every day a

Tyranny is an irrational monster.  A godless empire, empty of soul and faith, it cannot be won over with mere appeals for justice. Of course, Jesus of Nazareth never accepted that notion. Menacing Rome, with its powerful, systematic dominance over all of Judea, had no conscience to bend, no mercy to encourage. Yet still, the single mission of the Gospel was clear: bring the Good News of God's redemptive kingdom to all, including the non-believers. Jesus thought of old Moses, and of besieged Noah, and of their seemingly impossible tasks, their deep will of conviction against the one-eyed giants of human evil and fear. After his baptism experience in the desert with his prophet cousin John, Jesus retreated to his time of fasting and prayer, just as the prophet Elijah had done in his time of anguish. The Gospels most often quote the books of Psalms and Isaiah.  One may wonder and research which scriptures Jesus may have drawn strength from. Perhaps, Isaiah 41:10- "Fear not, fo

Many forms of life feel sadness. But, remorse is reserved for humans, and unknown to all other creatures. A thousand year old redwood giant by fate and destiny must topple over, and with no regret, none whatsoever. A tiny spider completes a final web, then casually dies in its corner, no prey of remorse entwined. One day, long from now, a very senior owl in its last frozen moment will bow down in deep silence, into the snow, as if the normal course all along, another departing winter, no remorse.

He knows. So, he can pretend. He knows how, and actually it's necessary nearly all the time. Because, almost everyone believes in it, time that is. Everyone thinks that it exists.  But, he knows it doesn't exist at all, anywhere. Time is the principal yardstick of relative perspective and distance, that's all; a finite tool. Space-time is the working fabric woven from historical scientific agreement, a measurable way to deduce our relative position in the constantly moving cosmos.   Observing, we see things aging in a most convincing manner of birth, decay, and demise. From the tiniest nano organisms to the most massive galactic structures, there are undeniable cycles of creation, destruction. But, he's not fooled, knowing it is illusory, time as the pragmatic invention of human thought, or, a Creator's shorthand math of comprehension for imagining vastly inconceivable distances, scales and magnitudes so great that they are constantly expanding even further out, all

Wind Haiku Remarkable how  a simple January  wind's thrashing hurry reminds us of what  else but everything that is uncontrollable beyond our own choice coming from all four corners gusts of chance and fate like the days blowing off one by one regardless of our mad clinging on to some daydream of immortality lost but then somehow found it's a myth guessing wind's inclination beyond what the trees tell us direction being a matter of perspective always relative like time-misted clouds unaffected by stray wind haunting sleep's damp cave remarkable how the moon gave permission to the wind to be wild beyond influence the convincing illusion we control our lives any more than wind decides its destination speed or duration which begs the question if not by our own design who is in control?

The resident voices in my head compete for attention. There is always a quarrel of perception going on, a constant figuring out that finds no final sum. True, it's a new year. But, there are no new secrets the wind carries, and no new wisdom from our sun or recycled rain. There is no answer that will satisfy every question, no keen solution to the angst of innocents, the hapless victims of change.  True, another new year, but that's simply our quant and arbitrary calendar tradition. The earth spins by its own schedules via powers unseen and many factors yet in mystery, how it's pinned so precisely in space by the fickle reign of gravity, the ultimate, unseen web cloaking every structure, every lofty daydream, every dared hope of humanity, tethered to the scourge of physical death, the giant risks taken despite the lightless abyss of failure and then extinction.  True, a new year, yet still the same onerous quagmire of countries fighting for more power, conflicts over greed

Since the earliest beginnings of human experience, the practice of chanting, known thru many traditions and histories, is there a common thread that ties all?  Thinking of the great mantras, Hare Rama, Hallelujah, Allahu Akbar, Baruch atah Adonai, Om Mani Padme Hum, Hail Mary, many more, each a meditation, all recited in rhythmic pulses of breath and depth of devoted emotion. Chanting that numbers respiration, paces introspection thru humble reflection, body and mind together imagine a sheer immenseness of cosmos, the constant praise of creation's expanding space, the measured meter and cadence of the dumbfounded spirit, the elusive realms, the new electricity of quantum promise and wonder. The mantras and chants of humanity- from Gregorian to Tibetan- all may invoke the various names and faces of God.  But, what doesn't change is the intrinsic, mortal need for a grounding to something greater, a centering and focusing that chanting brings in tones of harmonious reconnection. h

Agnostic prayer. Two words you don't expect to see side by side. Is it possible? No doubt, a subject for debate, but not here, not now. It's simply the phenomena of my reality. Why?  Difficult to describe.  There are only three things: facts, faith, and mystery. Said another way- what I know is true, what I believe is true, and what remains unknown to me. Is there a fourth? Whether God exists remains a mystery to me, and science, and humankind. Either true, or wishful thinking by fearful mortals facing death, nobody knows with certainty.  In fact, no certainty to existence. Only know what I hope to be true, a just God running the Universe. Good and evil in constant battle. Creation and destruction ongoing.  But, this speculation hardly helps the urge of prayer and reflection as a natural behavior of healing. Reluctantly agnostic, short of any tangible proof, I'm still inclined to pray, with only a humbling sense of smallness amidst the vast cosmos of common experience.  Unk

What is just beyond the next walkway? Or, just beyond the next falling sun? What is just beyond the next expectation, the next corner to turn, just beyond the next step, just beyond a preview, what is it all coming to, what will we see? What is there just beyond you and me?

There is truth deemed universal, and truth deemed only transitory. The intrinsic problem about "Truth": there must still be an interpreter of the sacred words, Scripture, and language meaning. We are all personal interpreters. Ascribing specific references to commonly read words- that's how truth becomes relative to the teller, and to the different minds comprehending, striving to know.

Allegory: if I am a boat's skipper, do I care what color my anchor might be? Do I care if it's forged from this iron or that steel? Do I care that it's a traditional hook shape, or something else entirely? What does a skipper need from an anchor? That it works. Securely tied off, heavy enough, and instantly available. If I am a mortal navigating life from day-to-day, from where do I draw my strength to continue thru the difficult and worse days? What do I need from my faith? That it works. That it's tied off by my intrinsic cords of personal values, the eternally tethered connection: 10 Commandments, Golden Rule, Four Noble Truths, all work to anchor my character, temper my passion, and tame my worst or most selfish tendencies. Differences or similarities, narrow or wide lanes of beliefs, stories, narratives, interpretations, translations, or claims to exclusively correct knowledge thru Scriptural defining- all of these less important distinctions are as the various

Many may challenge the notion, it's understood. It confounds all the established beliefs, the variously pointed paths of faith. But, for me, there is a glorious, nameless majesty, a royally unreligous crown of mystery which represents the limitless, universal experience, constantly whirling matrix of questions far beyond a horizon of knowledge. There is, to me, a beauty most viscerally felt in this mystery, unequaled by any human story of imaginative gods and devils and mortals with living souls. There is this drive within to know the real fabric or algorithm or equation or Scripture or vision or truth reveal without doubt, rendering faith obsolete or unnecessary- but then, where to go for our strength? Would knowing more be a new source? We cannot ever know enough to then leap out of our ego's mirror, so is the desire to know itself a trap? Consciousness at its core query,  the silent, enduring grandeur of our common existance, the way nothing is ever answered forever, all

The countless lives behind windows, every one so anonymous and precious, immersed in stories uniquely drawn, unknown by their window frames alone, the spectrum of mortal experience played out in rooms full of days and years, unscripted moments in-between, Venetian blind shadows of indoor souls going about their sundry routines, unspoken rituals of identity and relationship, or the windows that hide the horrors of private hells, or cursed prisons of gloom, nightmares the neighbors hear and ignore, or the sobbing child, crouched and trembling in the dark corner, or the wife's face burning with shame from a fresh and angry slap, or the massively silent, glacial pain of loneliness, windows of the heart forever nailed shut, or those empty windows that reveal nothing at all to passersby, to an outside world too Tick-Tocked to care anyway, or cracked windows of brutal negligence, quiet terrors, subtle tortures of circumstance, or the dusty windows on the sides of buildings of wasted dream

Spread evenly, roots to leaves. Pholem, xylem, and cambium. Hope, loyalty, and perseverance. Just as the dead heartwood  within the tree is protected by  only a few thin layers of living  fibers, and the tree is kept alive- So is the soul's earliest pain  protected  from mortal futility by  the irrepressible hopefulness of  purpose- memory dims the rest.  

Perhaps, it's understandably upsetting for some to consider: although far more cerebrally evolved, we are still just animals. More specifically, mammals, homo-sapien mammals. Simply stated, we are apes, human apes. So, does this answer all possible questions? Not at all, and only creates even more mystery, more questions to answer and connect to a remarkably greater picture of our partially discernable life and world. I hear my many friends of faith saying some version of "Hold on, science explains very little. What about God's plan thru the Word,  unsaved souls vs. eternity, the coming final victory over evil?" Well, this is one ape who wouldn't disagree, I'd welcome such a victory, thru any means or reality. Yet, have long suspected but with no persuasive evidence, just a natural hunch: loyal faith and dogmatic science may not ever intersect anywhere, but instead both represent opposite parallel universes of endless numerical varience and possibility. E

It's difficult to remember to take the extra moment to consider what may be possible, often something unlikely. But it can also be something typical. Simple example is the horn on your steering wheel, how you realize too late it's a senior you just startled. Awareness has a brief half-life. Remember phone booths? Of course not. One day, banged on the glass, in a hurry to make my call. Who else turns around but Milton Berle, holding up an index finger to my young impatience. No less the quick fool, the ego leads like a bumbling clown stumbled out of the tiny car, first of dozens to follow. Everyone included in that old stunt. Difficult to remember how moments define the mood, attitude lights the candle, patience sets the best table. Who pauses anymore to raise a glass?

If I were a ponderous purple onion, you could peel to my core, finding nothing new or more, nothing terrible, nor wondrous.  If I were a child's wooden train, I'd turn back around sixty years again, remembering it from the smoke and sounds it never made.  If I were a darkened alley past midnight, staying out of helicopter light, no shadows to trust beyond those that move too fast.  Somehow our sun keeps its secrets burning on, while trillions of black holes draw in the churning dust from every ancient universe. The background glow still seen, tracking each of us from within, no one may know their destiny's way, nor that fateful final day. When, out goes  the light in a rude bum's rush, a moment then gone, stars colluding in their solitude, nothing personal, all along.

Did God also make my impetuous curiosity, my persistantly earnest questioning? My mulling over all that I learn about or experience? Or, is my mystery over Creation and the cosmos just another fanciful distraction from simply sensing the answers to all my questions, rather than thinking my way to some perceived conclusion? Perhaps all matters of faith revolve in rarified realms well beyond mundane musings of the mind's aimless meanderings. So, is the human brain an utterly useless machine to calibrate the Mind of God? Should I suspect and temper my curious spirit, rather than trust it's also a God-made characteristic, an inherently positive blessing? Or, a burdened curse to lead me astray?

For all humankind's wondering, and wandering, and seeking, and questioning, and yearning, the Scriptures describe a Mind that is unapproachable by mortal efforts, but rather thru faith, acceptance, and a resolute choice to believe all that is beyond the rational  mathematics of reason and logic. But the mystery-bound paradox also remains illusive of clarity, as the Most High also made the human brain, our intrinsic instrument of comprehension.

(Five Haiku @ 65) Busy spouse, teen son Three strangers all summer long Each in our shadow. The days lounge but weeks Go faster, winter coming  soon, while months whiz by. Who wants to ponder Over distortions of time With so little left? One day in rehab Father asked: "how'd I get here?" He knew. Year by year. So, good to be here  Or anywhere these late days Storms not far away.

This, to me, is incomplete. As I define his statement, he meant other humans. I doubt the Buddha would disagree: seeking strength or comfort from a source of faith, from a Higher Power than myself, although a permanent mystery for this life, is worthy.

We're all seasonal items. Don't mean to be morbid or foreboding, just a thought that re-plays in some form probably daily, in the market, driving around, or at home, a certain awareness, or recalling. Just strikes me starkly some days, how we're here one moment, and then we're not here, ever again as far as we know, not much. Dandelions, blown into wind. At this season of life, the invisible follower just a silent step behind, ready when absolutely necessary but not before, irrelevent now, patient to wait. Remember to be right here, wherever that is, the moment I'm in, leave the future-past where they are, no conflating all three. A season begun in a sunrise inkling, a horizon breaking into a wink of day, as if it's all happened a trillion times before. Later is sooner now, wheels turning slower, more certain, seasons rushing for reasons both common and rare.

The specific understanding (as Jesus of Nazareth himself described it), narrow and unswerving- that every single letter, even "one jot or one tittle..", of the Scripture is divinely scribed, is a strict, inflexible view. Yet, unwavering doesn't at all mean inaccurate- every detail of this literal understanding may be precisely correct- no one knows. That's when choosing to believe becomes all-important, bound by faith, commitment, conviction. But this understanding is "all or nothing", by rational construct. Either God created the Heavens and Earth, and humankind is on a Messianic path, and Jesus born to the Christ and Trinity, who died on the Cross but beat death by the Resurrection, and who will return again to save the world from evil's destruction, all of it- unparsed, undivided by mere mortal reasoning or trivial intellectual debate, accepting and embracing ALL of it, the entire understanding- or then, nothing. You have nothing. No soul, no im

We're inclined to reason and common sense, by divine design. In the end, we believe what rings true for each of us.

"Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness."  James 3:18 Disciple J ames speaks boldly about the higher standard for teachers, and how none speak perfectly. So, all must be wary of the power of the tongue, the destructive sin of irresponsible speech, how it can easily harm. In the larger context, James also speaks of two truths: one verifies a person's character thru deeds, righteous actions that help and uplift those most in urgent need. But the actions must be with pure heart, free of humankind's evils. The other truth comes only from the wisdom of Heaven's grace, and God's purest love for us, always impartial and sincere. For me, it's as close as the daily interactions with others, the opportunities to be peaceful, lead more often with my better nature.

The Bible's books, Old and New, are rich with scriptural questions, avenues for thought, wonder, and the challenge of sacred mystery. Hebrews is an elegant and eloquently composed epistle establishing Jesus as Christ and King over Christianity, the Trinity realized, the Messianic promise fulfilled, for humankind's grace and redemption for all eternity. Most Christians don't question Hebrews author as being Paul, the Pharisee disciple. But, there's some intrigue. Was this letter written by Paul, after all? A few inconsistencies emerge that seem historically incongruent. First, there is no salutation at the start, as with every other Paul authorship to the earliest Church. The reference "To the Hebrews" appears in the earliest known copy, but it's not in the original manuscript. Odd. Even more puzzling, some read the letter's style as sounding very different from the other epistles, both in complexity of language and words used, tonal qualities, an

Psalm 139:13-14 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully  and  wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And  that  my soul knows very well. This passage describes the awe felt when considering the exquisite, harmonic beauty of our inner and outer world. Miracle of existance perfect in kind, the Universe makes no mistakes with the physics of God's imagination, all things possible, and time a myth. The inspiring Psalm speaks to the certainty of God, and of our soul.

Psalm139:23,24NLT Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life . This Psalm evokes both gratitude and appreciation that the human universals of doubt and anxiety cannot hide in our hearts. God already knows my thoughts, so there is nowhere to hide from my own integrity; i.e., my conscience. The Commandments answer all.  Praying to know the unaware ways I may offend God's code is always worthwhile and healing. The everlasting isn't my concern. Too many unknowns to fret over. The Psalm generates a humility for the Mysteries yet unsolved, as God also blesses me with constant and random curiosity. Much of Psalm 139 then extols the omnipresence of the Creator, the beautiful splendor of Creation including our own beating hearts, and the human bond that endures.

Historically, Buddhism pre-dates Christianity by six centuries, beginnng with Siddhartha Gautama (better known as the Buddha, l. c. 563 - c. 483 BCE). According to legend, Gautama was a Hindu prince who renounced his position and wealth to seek enlightenment as a spiritual ascetic, attained his goal and, in preaching his path to others, founded Buddhism in India in the 6th-5th centuries. The events of his life are largely legendary, but he is considered an actual historical figure. The origins of Christianity go back to Roman Judea in the early first century. The four canonical Gospels date from around 70-90 AD, the Pauline epistles having been written before them around 50-60 AD. Jesus of Nazareth:  c. 4 BC – AD 30 / 33, also referred to as Jesus Christ, was a first-century Jewish preacher and religious leader. He is the central figure of Christianity, the world's largest religion. Most Christians believe he is the incarnation of God the Son and the awaited messiah, prophesied i

Many folks say it's the greatest story in all the history of humankind. It may be just as believed, every detail, the intrinsically beautiful, immensely impacting, and enduring story of the Messiah, Jesus of Nazareth. The traditions of messianic history, a Savior arriving to deliver humankind from its weaknesses, raise up the concepts of mortality and divinity, the worldly ways contrasted to heavenly ways- it's been a yearning and longing as old as existence, the desire to know God, understand death, and overcome the natural fears of living in a thoroughly unknown consciousness for a finite time. The Old Testament describes a God (Yaway) who exhibits decidedly human attributes: rage, vengeance, jealousy, intolerance. The first five books, the Torah, largely the story of Moses, tell how a people escaped from evil bondage, and awaited a leader to ensure their salvation and future identity. The story of Jesus- as Christians believe- may in fact be completely correct and accu

Everyone is always guessing about what is true. We simply don't know, so we believe this or that notion, or a particular, specific narrative. Faith is a choice, a decision then embraced and followed. Our human guessing goes by many terms. The resolute conviction to believe something is still a form of guessing, as no one factually knows much about this existance, and mysterious universe. Faith and knowing, they're not the same, not ever.

BS aside, the endless parades of words that pass thru our daily experience, and thru the larger culture- all our words are superfluous, after-the-fact, nearly irrelevant by comparison: before the ornaments of popular verbiage, our actions already define us, express our values, and most accurately summarise our truest priorities. You can hear or read every word I ever utter, and weigh those words this way and that, parsing the meanings, considering the context, etc. Or, you can simply watch what I do. My actions best describe my inner perspectives. Actions rarely deceive, while all words have built-in deceptions. BS aside- and so much of it everywhere one turns today- our acts all together become the candid mosaic of one's character, and may determine the quality of our life. 

An essay: Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Christianity, Islamism. Five faiths, five selected quotes, and some personal reflections. Buddha- "Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth."  First two are easy to recognize, the third is illusive, open to argument, strife, pain. Desire and suffering handcuffed for eternity, inseperable, bound to the seeking of truth's right path.  Lord Krishna- "Your birth is a mistake you'll take your whole life to correct." We stumble out into the world with so many decisions and choices already determined. Gender, parents, history, name, core self-identity, early influence, all determined before we're asked, before we have a say. Multiple lifetimes like a curing process, old traits purged over each new existance, the kiln of time. Moses- "Who am I that I should  go unto Pharoah, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?" Self-doubt and an overwhelming burden of assi

My guess is that no human has ever known the nature of God. Every path, religion, philosophy, denomination, and belief system ever known is the same blind groping, the same earnest guessing, the same faithful hoping, the same human desire to be on the real path that is true and righteous. Yet, no one knows. Everyone is guessing about the mysterious and unknown, but no one wants to hear that! I know that I'm guessing, but God knows that too, and sees my doubts! Merely wondering about all that's beyond me is salvation enough to escape the banal and mundane, that which would deny possibility of spirit, or the grateful blessing and driving reverie of curiosity.

Moses awakened into a new day,  recalling his overwhelming task.  This was the way, he was certain now, no more wavering this time, no more self-doubt. Besides, no other way had worked for him, or had taken him anywhere good. All were dead ends until now, until this path of lasting promise.  He no longer looked without into the dark weakness of a fearful, stumbling human civilization, hot and restless with uncertainty. Instead, he looked within now to the primordial light illuminating his destiny, a perilous path back to God's enigmatic palace of pain and impermanence here on Earth, in this flesh, with a fresh resolve of higher recognition, a new and inclusive regard for all creation. Moses knew what he had to do.

The known and the unknown, certainty and uncertainty. Can we be certain of anything?  Recently, a fifth major law of physics was stumbled upon, a complete shock to befuddled researchers. Another team of scientists are now claiming there's hard evidence of sub-atomic particles traveling faster than the speed of light- if confirmed, a fundamentally impacting phenomenon that Einstein believed was impossible.  The entire universe constantly bubbles up new mystery, like an endlessly refilling cauldron of new tricks, cooked up to stymie our sense of knowing, and confounding our desire to feel safe. All known facts seem to stack upon shifting sands, amidst changing wind, or elusively possible mathematics, yet undiscovered angles and technologies to re-test long accepted assumptions. What is Dark Energy-Matter? Where's the proof or disproof of the substance of God? Does good-evil have an operating formula across the cosmos? Maybe? Unlikely?  The known and the unknown, we try to get thr

This is about the mind of God. Huh? What could that even mean? God is incomprehensible to us, permanently beyond our grasp. God is the mystery of glory and grace, we as humans have no chance of knowing God's mind.  True. All true. How can I, a sub-microscopic speck of momentary existance, here for but a nano-blink of time, how can I approach such unknowable thoughts as these? Yet, so many moments in a typically human day, it would be useful to know a higher perspective, What Would God Do, moments needing and then heeding a consistent moral clarity. Although a universe of light-years distant from God's knowing, should we not still imagine, never fully achieving it, but bettering ourselves by at least wondering? The broad, convenient grey areas humans have between wrong and right- God has no such grey area. The operative hypocrisy we all so imperfectly prove on mortal occasion- God has no such hypocrisy.